in between

All too often, I count down the days until my next journey--be it 9 days or 9 months.  I am always wanting to escape or get a break from my real life.  But what happens when all of the sudden my real life turns so intense, it seems almost impossible to leave at a time like this?  As much as I need a break from the chaos that has suddenly swirled around me, I am not sure I am ready to let it go.  I have learned a very important lesson in the last month and that is no matter how hard I try to leave something behind, my real life keeps going on without me at home.  The people I am connected to are left here to go about their lives while I am on some international escapade.  Their connection to me causes my real life to keep going and pulls me back in across the equator.  I don't resent this, as I know this is what makes people miss me and what eventually draws me back in.  Now that I am down to counting on two  hands, I can't help but wonder am I ready?  It seems the madness is slowing down, but I feel like I need a break--not necessarily from my real life, but just a break before I start something else.